Things To Deconstruct

After spring cleaning chores are done, the next step may be to deconstruct what no longer works for your life.  Most people think of ‘deconstruction’ as a process of removing religion or religious dogma and doctrine from their lives.  And, while that is the most common use of the term, there are so many aspects of life that can be deconstructed.  In my experience, deconstructing religion from my life shined a bright light on other areas of my life: some that are related to religious indoctrination & some that are related to the cultural, familial, and generational indoctrination.

Have you deconstructed from or considering deconstructing from traditional religion that no longer resonates with you?  Perhaps you have heard the term, ‘deconstruction,’ but aren’t sure what it is. Deconstruction, in this context, is the process of examining traditional religion by questioning everything, challenging the indoctrination, the dogma, the doctrine, and discovering for ourselves what is reality, truth, who we are, the nature of time & space, and who / what is God/Goddess/Universe/ Source/Higher Consciousness. In essence, when someone deconstructs, they are pulling apart everything about their religion, the corresponding religious texts, how the religious organization works, the roles represented in the religious structure, the policies of the religion or sub-denomeniations, the leadership and authority of the religion or denomination. According to a recent article on philosophical concepts and theories, “[the deconstruction] process reveals how [religious] texts [and dogma] often undermine their own claims, creating spaces for multiple interpretations rather than [one] meaning” (“Deconstructionism.” The Philosophy Room, 14 Apr. 2025, www.thephilroom.com/blog/

2025/03/07/deconstructionism/). It has become a movement that may alarm the traditional religious base because religions /denominations could lose members. It’s not just Christian religions that are seeing people deconstruct. While I deconstructed from a high-control traditional Christian religion, I have connected with people who have deconstructed from other traditional religions as well.  That’s religious deconstruction at its most basic.

What other aspects of life can be deconstructed? Here are a few that I have deconstructed:

• Childhood upbringing - My family of origin made a high-control religion the center of our family life, so, the rules, laws, guidelines for our family aligned with the Church teachings.  Fun wasn’t essential in our home.  For example, I wasn’t allowed to play cards - only “Old Maid Card Game” - because cards were ‘evil’ according to my parents.  Interestingly, “Old Maid Cards” reinforce the cultural, generational, religious indoctrination.  I’ve deconstructed my childhood by looking at what I was taught to believe and looking at the environment in our home and then deciding what ideas and ideals to toss, what to keep / modify / alter, and what to add now that my childhood indoctrination deconstruction is complete.  No, I haven’t embraced the popular “no contact” with parents.  I accept that I am different from them and find ways to connect that honors my preferences rather than upholding theirs. By the way, my daughter played with “Old Bachelor Cards” that featured a dumpy dude for the card you didn’t want to get stuck with and women in various careers on the other cards for the win.

• Manners & sub-culture characteristics - Because I grew up in the deep southern state of Louisiana, antiquated codes of manners formed other layer of indoctrination that needed to be examined, questioned, and deconstructed.

- wearing white shoes and white clothing before Memorial Day - ridiculous!  I wear white jeans on Christmas Day just to celebrate my freedom from an outdated social ‘rule.’

- deferring to men as the default ‘leader’ of everything, nope!

- women wearing shorter hair as we age, why?  I wear my silver hair long because I have the freedom to do so.  I also stopped coloring my hair “Southern White Lady Blonde.”

- wardrobe - Because I had lived in Florida and worked at Walt Disney World before moving back to Louisiana decades later, I only had casual clothes.  At work, I was provided costumes to borrow; in Florida, you can go anywhere in flip flops, shorts, and a t-shirt - weddings, funerals, churches, the theatre.  I deconstructed the rigid dress code for women in the south in favor of comfort and informality. Do I dress up sometimes?  Yep, but it’s my choice rather than an obligation.

- fancy possessions - I deconstructed sterling silver tea / coffee set, formal serving dishes & serving pieces of flatware, mountains of cloth napkins and placemats, nicknacks, holiday / seasonal china sets, wind-up clocks, antiques, occasional furniture that serves little practical purpose.

- personalized stationary - How many times, in 2026, will you handwrite a letter to send in the post? My guess is that it would be a rare occurrence.  I have no need for elaborate, expensive stationary, so, I’m using up what I already have.

- sending formal invitations in the mail - Postage is expensive and it’s so easy now to design and send-out invitations digitally. Email works great for sending invites, is less expensive, and is easy to keep up with RSVPs.

• Yard, garden, and curb-appeal - Having a pristine lawn is not necessary.  I deconstructed my lawn, simplified & minimized my gardens, and keep a tidy curb-appeal that doesn’t require a lot of time, money, work.  No expensive weed control - weeds are plants too!

• Friendships that no longer add value to my life - IYKYK

What are you deconstructing or have deconstructed from your life? Please share your stories, thoughts, insights, and suggestions by either commenting below this post if you are reading this on social media, or, if you are reading this through your email subscription, please share, by emailing me, at reimaginelife22@gmail.com.

Thank you for reading and participating in this blog essay; I invite you to subscribe to my blog at www.reimaginelifecoach.com.