In Praise of Simply Being

(photo from https://hbr.org/2023/03/beware-a-culture-of-busyness)

When you look at that photo, does it make you want to join in or run away? The culture of busyness as a constant way of living needs to draw its last breath and pass into obscurity. What we all need is blissful rest, deep breaths, communing with nature, and finding peace as the intermission to constant engagement. We need times to simply ‘be.’ Author Erica Layne reminds us, “Rest is not idle, is not wasteful. Sometimes rest is the most productive thing you can do for your body ad soul” (https://ericalayne.co/author/erica-layne/).

How many times has someone said these kind of admonishments to you?:

• “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop” from Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales

• “Stop sleeping; get to work! You will have much time to sleep when you die” (Michael Bassey Johnson).

• “Failure is not our only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others” (Jules Renard).

• “Inspiration is a guest that does not willingly visit the lazy” (Tchaikovsky)

I have heard these often directed at me, especially when I was younger. While I’m sure people who have rebuked me thought they were well-meaning, ultimately, these sort of sentiments are harmful. I used to present as a typical Type A person, so, I, unfortunately, used to ascribe to these adages. Not any more. I am learning the value of rest and ‘being.’ My physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being are benefitting from my having exited the busy train.

Especially in the world of work, ‘busyness’ had been a rewarded maxim; until the COVID-19 pandemic and the rise of the Millennial and Gen Z generations, “Busyness has become a status symbol. People also consider those who exert high effort to be ‘morally admirable,’ regardless of their output” (qtd. in https://hbr.org/2023/03/beware-a-culture-of-busyness). The younger generations watched and learned that constant busyness is essentially unfulfilling, mainly because the old advice to ‘work hard and work long hours to get ahead’ isn’t true anymore. It’s time we all take a leaf out of their playbook for life and get off of the busyness hamster wheel.

In her article, “How Constantly Being Busy Affects Your Well-Being,” therapist Jodi Clarke states, “[There is an impact on emotional health] When busyness is glorified and encouraged, you may end up overextending yourself with varied obligations, appointments, commitments, and responsibilities. Busyness may lead to feeling:

Anxious

Stressed

Overwhelmed

Inadequate

Sad

Frustrated

Angry

Lonely

Hopeless

Incompetent

Guilty

…Excessive busyness may impact your physical health by triggering or exacerbating:

Muscle tension/pain

Restlessness

Insomnia

Headaches

Inflammation

Compromised immune function

Fatigue

Change in sex drive

Digestion issues

Cardiovascular disease” (https://www.verywellmind.com/how-the-glorification-of-busyness-impacts-our-well-being-4175360).

What if, instead of being in the constant motion of busyness, we embrace ‘being’? The Oxford English Dictionary defines ‘being’ as, “…the nature or essence of a person” (OED). What if we get over the messages of laziness and idleness and simply ‘be’ in this moment, in our essential nature? In the Christian Bible, Psalm 46:10 states, “Be still, and know that I am God” (https://www.biblegateway.com/NIV). It doesn’t say, “ Go to church all day on Sunday and on Wednesday night and serve on every committee and volunteer for every event in order to know God.” Simply, “be still and know.” And, the Bible warns against ‘worry,' another by-product of busyness, in Matthew 6:28-31: “And why would you worry about your clothing? Look at all the beautiful flowers of the field. They don’t work or toil, and yet not even Solomon in all his splendor was robed in beauty like one of these!” (https://www.bible.com/bible).

Of course, we need to have income to live; still, when is ‘enough’ enough? Although Mark Twain is often credited with having said this, Confucius seems to have said it first: “Choose a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life” (qtd. in https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidsturt/2015/03/13/do-what-you-love-or-love-what-you-do/). Alan Watts, English writer from the 1960s echoed Confucius when he quipped, “This is the real secret to life - to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And, instead of calling it [‘work’], realize it is [‘play’]” (https://alanwatts.org/life-of-alan-watts/). If you hate your job, find one that better suits your interests, skills, passions, natural abilities and work that one; it will feel like ‘play’ most days rather than a drudgery of work most days.

So, how do you feel when you ‘do nothing’? I admit, it was hard for me at first. Now, ‘nothing’ doesn’t mean I’ve fallen into the abyss. It means I’m enjoying or observing this moment. Families with children, especially in the United States, are over scheduled and it’s hurting children and adults alike. If you are like I was as a parent, you want to give your children all of the things, opportunities, activities you didn’t get, or didn’t get enough of. A resent study, “…suggests that kids may need a little more latitude with their free time instead of having their days packed with lessons, sports and structured activities.

‘The more time kids had in less structured activities, the more self-directed they were and, also, the reverse was true: The more time they spent in structured activities, the less able they were to use executive function,’ said study author Yuko Munakata, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Colorado, Boulder” (qtd. in https://www.cbsnews.com/news/over-scheduling-kids-may-be-detrimental-to-their-development/). As you know, ‘executive function’ includes these areas of development: critical thinking, problem solving, planning and organizing, decision making, and managing thoughts and actions.

In the article the CBS article, “Dr. Caroline Martinez, a developmental pediatrician and behavioral specialist at the Kravis Children's Hospital at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City, suggests, ‘"You don't have a chance to develop those skills in structured activities and classes’ (qtd. in https://www.cbsnews.com/news/). Dr. Martinez encourages parents to, “…offer children a balance between some structured time, where they can learn a specific skill, and some free time” (qtd in https://www.cbsnews.com/news/).

Think back to 2020 and the COVID-19 pandemic. We all learned what it’s like to stop the madness and ‘be’ for a while. Families spent more time together. Sometimes it was great and sometimes it was not, but, we all had to look at life, our schedules, and our responsibilities differently. According to the article, “Is the Era of the Overscheduled Kid Gone for Good?”, Rachel Spalding weighs in: “Yes, the possibility of having an overscheduled kid—gone for a year due to lockdowns and only a choice for those with the means for enrichment activities—was back. But if the pandemic showed us anything about creating a purposeful existence, wouldn't it follow that parents may not want to return to the rat race that was raising American kids before March 2020?” (https://www.parents.com/health/coronavirus/is-the-era-of-the-overscheduled-kid-gone-for-good/).

While I’m not advocating dropping out of everything and living in a cave for the rest of our lives, I am suggested we let go of a majority of the busyness that swirls around us. Enjoy the beauty of nature, playing with your children - or grandchildren, work while on-the-clock at a job that doesn’t thoroughly suck the life out of you, meditate, make one day a week a ‘no tech day,’ read for pleasure, do nothing. Simple ‘be.’ In the article, “The Benefits of Doing Nothing,” the authors quote from the New York Times: “Doing nothing could be the key to a healthy and happy life. More and more of us find ourselves unable to juggle overwhelming demands and maintain a seemingly unsustainable pace. Paradoxically, the best way to get more done may be to spend more time doing less. A new and growing body of multidisciplinary research shows that strategic renewal — including daytime workouts, short afternoon naps, longer sleep hours, more time away from the office and longer, more frequent vacations — boosts productivity, job performance and, of course, health” (qtd. in https://intheknow.insead.edu/). Working smarter rather than harder may be the first step to shifting from being over scheduled to being selectively scheduled for your overall health and enjoyment of life.

Harvard Business Review and The Economist have conducted research to quantify the problem of too much busyness: “Right now, roughly one in three people eat lunch at their desks and even vacations are not sacrosanct. Over half of all people who work admit that they expect to work while on holiday. Long hours might seem like a good way to climb the corporate ladder – how could you not succeed when you do the work of two people in a single day, right? – but it also leads to burn out. A survey from Harvard Business School found that 94% of professionals work 50 hours per week or more and nearly half of all people surveyed work at least 65 hours every week. Sometimes those long hours pay off. According to The Economist, ‘Since the late 1990s, this long-hours premium has earned overworkers about 6% more per hour than their full-time counterparts.’ People who work longer hours are also less likely to be laid off and more likely to be promoted – but at what cost?” (qtd. in https://intheknow.insead.edu/).

According to Dr. K. Anders Ericsson, a professor at Florida State University and an expert in performance before his death in 2020 explains, “ The key to being mentally sharp, productive, and emotionally healthy is to allow your brain time to rest. To maximise gains from long-term practice individuals must avoid exhaustion and limit practice to an amount from which they can completely recover on a daily or weekly basis. When you allow yourself time to do nothing, you give your brain a chance to process experiences, consolidate memories, and reinforce learning. Your resting state is a powerful tool for regulating your emotions and maintaining the ability to focus. Rest will also help you make better decisions and be more productive. Downtime benefits your creativity too. Letting your brain rest can trigger more imaginative thoughts and ideas” (https://news.fsu.edu).

It may be arduous to simply ‘be’ when you are challenged by ADHD or similar disorders and it may be difficult to alter your family’s or children’s modus operandi. Still, to boost creativity, physical and brain function, and increase the peace in your life, rest and ‘being’ may be the by-product of a less scheduled life.

I admit it’s been a lot easier for me to ‘be’ once I retired from teaching in higher education. The ‘nothingness’ of working for someone else one day and being free to do or be what I want was a little overwhelming at first because I was so used to existing in a frenetic state of go-go-go. It didn’t take long to adjust. What does ‘being’ look like? I think it’s different for each individual. For me, I don’t ‘zone out’ in front of the TV to rest because I don’t find it restful . I listen to music, take a walk barefoot, pet my dog, look at art, sit by a body of water and listen to the sounds of nature, strike an easier yoga pose, do several minutes of deep breathing, listen to a book on Audible, meditate for 10 minutes.

Does the desire for a less scheduled, less busy life resonate with you? What will you decide to let go of to experience rest and to simply ‘be’? I’d enjoy hearing from you.

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