A Tossed Salad of Friends & Acquaintances

The United States has been erroneously referred to as a “melting pot.” Think about why “melting pot” is not an accurate description. When we think of a bubbling cauldron of veggies in a broth boiled down until what had been dissimilar ingredients have turned indistinguishable. Every individual item you tossed in the pot no longer maintains its uniqueness; it’s become all blobbed together. That is not representative of the USA. The country is more like a tossed salad. When you look at a salad, you will see different greens, vegetables, fruits, seeds, dressing, croutons. Every item in a salad stands out, has its unique color and texture, and yet, all of the parts of the salad work together to make a delicious meal.

With the contentious political season upon us, racial strive continuing to torture us, intolerance of anyone who is not like us, suppression of women’s rights, it seems it’s time to cultivate a variety of friends and acquaintances to add to our mix. The author of “The Importance of Diversity in Your Friendships” reminds us, “You can call them your squad, crew, homies, or whatever you want; your friends will always have your back. You probably think that you already know why friends are important, but some of the hidden benefits of friendship will shock you. They can give you direction when you’re lost, help you up when you’re feeling down, and lend you an ear when you need to vent. And that’s just the start! But, if all of your friends come from the same background or all look alike, then you might be leaving valuable opportunities on the table. Building friendships with people from all walks of life can help enrich your world, opening up tons of opportunities and making you into a more well-rounded human being. Here are the valuable reasons why friends are important, and how adding diversity to your group can improve your life (https://www.marcuslemonis.com/life-skills/importance-friendships-diversity). Rather than having a salad made of only iceberg lettuce, when we resemble a tossed salad with many various ingredients, we enjoy a more delicious salad. By having friends and acquaintances in our lives who represent the variety of our world, we become better, more open-minded, more broad-minded, unbigoted, unprejudiced, loving, caring people.

Why does diversity matter in friendships?

“1. It shatters invisible barriers. Have you ever looked at a close group of people, wanting to be a part of their club, but felt as if there was some sort of code to their friendship that you just couldn’t crack? That has happened to everybody at some point. That ‘code’ is a barrier to entry. Every friend group communicates a barrier to the outside world, whether members of that group know about it or not. It can seem inaccessible to outsiders who might not share the same experiences. If all of your friends are members of the same religion or ethnicity, you have a shared history that someone outside of your group might not be familiar with. That’s a difficult thing to overcome. They may not have the tools they need to crack your specific code. When you offer a new person friendship, you are not only allowing them to learn about your history, but you also gain access to theirs, breaking down those invisible barriers.

2. You get to share brand-new experiences. They say that travel opens the mind. It makes sense. When you visit new places, you meet people who live their lives in a manner completely different from yours. The food they eat, the way they travel, the clothes they wear; when you see where they’re coming from, you get to observe the differences between their culture and your own. You become less critical of things you didn’t understand before, and you bring that open-mindedness home with you. For all of those same reasons, that’s why friends are important. Your group of diverse friends can share food, culture, languages, jokes, lifestyles, and family traditions that you have never seen before, opening up your mind without having to fly 16 hours to experience them.

3. If you only ask one kind of person, you’re only going to get one kind of answer. The people in our lives teach us how to love, laugh, and treat people. Our friends teach us how to manage relationships and how to interact with peers or dates or bosses. A more diverse group of friends will pull experiences from their varied lives to give you more skills and knowledge than you would have if all of your friendships were uniform. For example, suppose all of your friends are single and you need relationship advice. You would get different answers if all of your friends were happily married with children or in long-term relationships. Expand your friend group and you’ll get better counseling when you need help.

…People shouldn’t expect the same things from everybody. That’s what happens when we diversify our friend group. Everybody is different, and you should be realistic about who they are.

The best, most-impactful friendships are the ones that change you. The friends who see and accept you and then give you the tools you need to push yourself forward are the ones who have the most invested in your happiness. Surrounding yourself with people who have a different skin color, cultural background, or religion will give you better social skills and make you a more resilient person. When you break down the barriers holding you back, allowing people from other walks of life to get to know you, you’re spreading love and positivity in the world. If you want to live in a society of acceptance, then the most accessible place to start is with the people you spend time with. That’s why friends are important; your friends represent how you want the world to be” (https://www.marcuslemonis.com/life-skills/importance-friendships-diversity).

When I worked as a Cast Member for Walt Disney World, I served alongside with coworkers and helped guests who were from all over the world, from a variety of cultures and lifestyles. My friendships were rich and diverse. I learned new perspectives and to think in new ways because I wasn’t in my own little ‘box.’

During the highly controversial 2020 presidential campaign, I learned that I still needed to let go of ‘my way of thinking or the highway' and listen to all perspectives. I have friends and people in my family who support political parties and candidates who I directly oppose, and sometimes it’s hard to connect with them when we are so different. Still, I care for them even if I don’t agree with everything they support. How have I learned this lesson? I stopped watching the news because it often fuels dislike for the ‘other.’ I haven’t always done a good job of separating the individual from our conflicting viewpoints; still, I work at it. Of course, some people will be our friends even though we have differences in our perspectives; there will be topics we ‘agree to disagree’ about. And, unfortunately, there are people that will not be our friends because, on a foundational level, our core values clash too much to ‘agree to disagree’ and there is a line neither of us can cross. In that case, we can wish each other well and move on.

I love my ‘tossed salad’ of friends who add to my life, to my thinking, to my knowledge, to my delight. We stand out as distinctive, valuable, worthy, intelligent individuals of all colors & backgrounds & lifestyles as we interconnect to create a microcosm of the world as God/the Goddess created it with the beauty of diversity.

Do you have a ‘tossed salad’ of friends and acquaintances? I would enjoy hearing your thoughts, ideas, inspirations, and suggestions.

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